Lie awake thinking, that strange night;
eyes focused on the ceiling, mind
wandering elsewhere, to the inner depths of my feelings;
I know not what to make of this situation..
it is bizarre, it can pain me deeply,
cut my heart clean in two;
or light the dripping candle,
which is my charred soul..
I come to a temporary conclusion
not to care - that way I will not
induce any more self-torture...
keep to myself...mute means security
However it is strange that I sink myself back
into this state of numbness, almost semi-consciousness.
I feel the familiarity, which goes with comfort.
I'm surely not normal, to find comfort in misery..
Maybe we are comfortable with what is familiar
All I know is that I think on it every day,
And disheartenment is an understatement..